My Life Story

Chapter 10: THE AUDITION! AGE 9

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 06:37:57 GMT

10 mins to get there! I grabbed the tape from inside the stereo and ran out the garage door into my mother's black stealth where she waited for me. I shut the car door and we were on our way to the audition!

It was a very sunny day with 90 degree weather. I reach over to the air vent and point it away from my face downwards towards the car door. The warm sun felt relaxing and soothing on my legs, face and arms. I close my eyes and take a deep breath and the sun light warms my eye lids. I open my eyes and look outside the window as we drive out of the neighborhood. I imagine a white horse running along side of the car. Jumping over anything that comes in its way! We drive faster onto the main road. The horse begins to grow wings. They start small then grow bigger and stretch further. Out and out! The horse runs faster and faster! The wings grow so big the horse begins to glide his body above the ground and picks up his feet to stop running. The wind current catches under his wings and picks his body up higher and higher into the sky. I no longer see the horse anymore. I look through my window searching for the white horse. Then look to the front of the car window but instead see a sign that says "John Tobin Recreation Center." We're here.

"Hurry Krystal! Get the tape, close the door, don't forget to lock it! Come on we need to hurry!" I look at my tazmanian devil watch. It's 5 till 4pm. With the tape still in my hand, I climb out of the car, lock the door, shut it, and hurry to catch up to my mother who is already walking into the recreation center. I look up at the front of the building as I catch up to her I see the same name as in the front entrance, "John Tobin Recreation Center" Who the heck is John Tobin?

As I walk inside I see a gymnasium on my right with kids playing basketball. 2 girls standing near the benches tap danced their feet in-sync together. I look to my left and see other kids my age and older women too that seem to be trying out for the talent show as well. I start to get a bit nervous. We walk into the office to announce our presence to the black lady at the desk. She said my name was already on the list. My sister had signed me up. I didn't know my sister was here.

We walk out of the office into the room across from us. Looking inside, we see a kid on a drum set in the middle of the room auditioning for a spot in the talent show. He was really boring. Played the same beat over and over. My mother and I look at all the people sitting in the room to find my sister. There she is towards the back wall, she saved us two seats.

As soon as I sit on that cold metal brown chair, I begin to get nervous again. My leg starts bouncing up and down. Hands are shaking a bit. Stomach is turning.

"Next is Candace Vi...Vit....Viteerree?" My sister stands up ignoring the judges mis-pronunciation to her last name. She holds her saxaphone up. She moves and wiggles her shoulders to move her long curled dark brown hair behind her. Then places her music sheet on the stand in front of her. And places her fingers on each pearled button to begin her audition.

I look around the room see the people's faces and reactions to my sister's performance. The adults are smiling. The two teenage girls to the right next to the door were not. They didn't seem to like my sister's performance at all as they started whispering to each other pointing at her and laughing. My nervs died and were replaced by my anger as it started to rise. Before my anger grew more, my sister was done. People clapped for her except the two mean girls.

"Next is Krystal Blue Vit....Viteeaaar?" I stood up out of my chair. Slowly walked to the center of the room to face the judges. They had big smiles on their faces. Very welcoming and friendly to me. I look to the right of me where the mean girls were sitting. They looked at me waiting to see what I'm going to do. I go up to the DJ who was behind me and handed him the tape. "This side" I pointed on the cassette. I grabbed the mic off of the stand and walk back to my spot in the middle of the room. I looked at the microphone and use my thumb to switch the button to "on".

"Uhm...I...I'm going to sing "A Whole New World"...fr...from the movie Aladdin" I said into the mic. The judges started jotting notes onto their papers already. I wonder what they were writing? The music starts and I start to sing. The judges smile big happy smiles throughout my song. I turn to the mean girls and they're smiling too! I felt an awkward acceptance from the people in the room. Why didn't the mean girls like my sister but yet they liked me? And they knew she was my sister too because of our last name.

The song finished and I did my bow. I looked up and see the people clapping along with the judges and the mean girls!

My mother stands up from her chair and walks my sister and I out the door into the office. She goes up to the black lady at her desk, "When will we know if they made it in?" The black lady looks up to my mother, "One of the judges will come out of the auditioning room and let you know if your daughters are in or not. You can wait over there by the benches in the gym."

We make our way to the benches to sit down and wait.

20 minutes later.

"Krystal and Candace?" A lady with big frosted hair says. "That's us," my sister responded. "Ok you're Candace?" says the judge, "ok your performance is fine, it doesn't need to be shortened but make sure you keep it under 3 minutes and 30 seconds. Do you have a costume to wear?" My sister replies firmly, "Yes." The judge looks down at her notes to review. "Ok and Krystal, your tape is fine too, it's at its 3 1/2 min mark. Do you also have a costume?" I look to my mother in question, she responds for me "Yes we already have a really pretty dress that she's going to wear." The lady again looks at her notes, "Ok you guys are both in, I need you to be here 2 hours before the talent show starts on May 15th. And don't forget to bring your music, you can tell family and friends to see you, there is no cost to come in. If you have any questions, I wrote my number down on this card for you," she hands my mother a buisness card, "And good luck!" she says as she pats my sister on the shoulder and walks off.

My simple kid life has just been filled with a busy schedule of practicing, practicing, more PRACTICING! The talent show isn't until the next month. I wonder what I'm going to do about my homework?

Chapter 9: Music or Friends?

Sat, 20 May 2006 23:07:06 GMT

The whole week after my first talent show was pure chaos! I never knew that singing on stage one time would get so much attention right away! Usually you would imagine that you would have to perform hundreds of times in front of people just to get a couple fans! Oh no, this was WAY different! The whole entire week random people came up to me complimenting me on my singing! How good I sounded and how well I handled myself on stage. Even though I knew I had a horrible incident in the bathroom before I got on stage, I knew that was something to be left unsaid. If I was getting this much attention about my singing, might as well start now at being a professional about my music for fans. Not talking about drama to friends. I would have to say good-bye to one of those. Music or Friends?

I hadn't talked to my best friend Amanda that whole week until Friday before the weekend. I was sitting in my desk in class looking at the clock waiting for the big hand to hit 1:00pm. "RECESS!" a chubby blonde kid screamed behind me. I jumped up and ran for the door. I was first at the door and pushed it open with ALL my body weight! Struggled a little bit having to push the door open harder to get out.

I ran down the steep grassy hill with my Disney princess white and pink sneakers as I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and my arms spread wide open feeling the fresh air and the warm wind. I ran passed the playground into the open soccer field. I stopped myself by rolling my body onto the ground in the short grass and laying flat on my back facing the sun in the sky. *sigh* The weather was perfect. My arms itched a bit from touching grass and the sun was warm on my face. As I lay there I closed my eyes to hear the birds sing and a small breeze slightly waved over my body. I felt an easy chill run up my spine from the wind. This was my most relaxing state of tranquility to relieve any daily stress I had.

I opened my eyes and saw my best friend Amanda standing directly above me leaning over my head looking at me. "We need to talk." she said. So much for relaxation and tranquility from my daily stress.

"What's up?" I asked feeling a bit nervous to my stomach like that time before I went on stage at the talent show. "So this singing thing, when did this happen?" she questioned as she paced and circled around me. I looked down suddenly feeling guilty for being in that talent show and stuttered as I answered, "Uhm...a...a couple weeks ago?" She stopped circling me and looked at me with her cold yellow eyes, chubby orange freckled face, and orange straight hair crossing her arms, "Is this why you didn't want to play the other day?" I couldn't answer her. How could I? I knew she was my friend, but I liked being on stage and that for damn sure felt more right than being her friend. The stomach pains suddenly went away. "You know what Amanda?" I told her with confidence standing up taller, "I didn't go play with you because I didn't feel like it! I was practicing for the talent show!" She stared me down so hard I felt her eyes ripping my skin right off of my body! "You're gonna be sorry you said that!" she said in hostility as she walked off swaying her overly large hips for an 8 year old.

After she walked off leaving me with her blessings, I started to question myself with pure anxiety. Did I do the right thing? Maybe I should go after her and apologize? What if she hits me? Should I not do music and stay her friend? I'm so confused! She's the first person to ever be so mad at me. What did I do wrong? The only way to change it is to not want to sing and not like that I did the talent show and never do it again! But is it right to pick a friend over music? Or music over a friend?

Recess was over. As I walked back to the school building, I've made a decision. I don't want my friend's to hate me for doing something dumb like a talent show. That's just awful! As soon as I get home from school, I'm going to march over to her house and apologize! Yea!

The rest of the school day went by fast as I had been thinking long and hard of what to tell her. How to apologize. What to say. What if I make her more mad? This is the very right thing to do. I know it is! And I swear it to God that I will make things right. No more music! EVER! Unless God somehow magically stops me from going to her house. But I doubt it.

School was over. All the kids were walking outside the school's front doors. So many kids. I felt like a marble with the crowd of other marbles being spilled out of a jar. There's my bus! As I walked up to the bus, I saw Amanda already at the bus doors first. She turned and saw me walking up to the bus. She gave me a "mad at you" look, flipped her choppy hair over her shoulder, chin high in the air, and climbed into the bus. She apparently didn't get over it. This is gonna be harder than I thought. I climbed up the dirty bus stairs and looked onto the path of sweaty sock smelling bus seats. I saw Amanda in our seat where we would normally sit together. I made my way passing each seat and feeling her bad angry vibe bubble that surrounded her. It was so strong I could practically see the bad vibe bubble. Passing her seat felt like a whole hour of awkwardness and silence. I sat in the very back next to 2 red head twins on the opposite side.

All the stops had been made. Amanda's stop was before mine. The bus stopped in front of her house. She grabbed her backpack and walked off quickly but silently. The bus continued a few houses down and stopped in front of my house. I got my things, walked off the bus, and crossed the street. I stood in front of my house looking at it. Should I go inside? Should I just go to her house? I turned and started to make my way to her house when suddenly my mother called on me from the front door. "Krystal! Come here! I want to tell you something!" she shouted. Well, I guess this friend feud will have to wait for now while I see what my mother wants. I walked inside and put my backpack on the floor next to the door. I looked up at my mother as she began, "I need you to go to the kitchen and start practicing your song again." she said. My eyebrow raised like a question mark. "I entered you in the local city talent show!" My eyes opened hugely! "Huh?" I said dumbfounded. "Come on, go practice for 30 mins because I need to take you to the audition so you can be in the talent show," explained my mother. I made my way to the kitchen still with a question on my face, picked up the microphone, and pressed play...

Does God work in mysterious ways? Being on stage and making people smile felt so right but after what happened with my best friend, music felt so wrong. Maybe after going to a private school it opened my eyes? Maybe God wanted me to follow the path of good. He saw I was going to go apologize to my friend for making her feel so bad. He knew I had good intentions but directed me into a different path just as long as I kept a good heart. A path to freedom, love, and creativity. Not a path to guilt, bad friends, and a life of depression. I guess from now on I gotta keep my eyes open for more signs in my life!

But I'm only 9, what the hell do I know? Oh well time to practice my music!

Chapter 8: MY FIRST PERFORMANCE! Age 9 (continued)

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 09:13:04 GMT

(continued...) I looked into the bathroom mirror with my hands holding onto the sink. My lungs were panting. I didn't look too healthy by the look in my own eyes. Who am I? Why did this have to happen to me and not the other girls in the talent show? Why did I get sick? After spending 10 mins in that bathroom stall of aching pain and sickness, I wasn't so sure if I could pull myself together to go on stage in front of all those people. What if I mess up and they boo me off stage. I know kids can get pretty harsh. What if they laugh at me? No. I can't let myself think like this. I spit into the sink, watered my hands, and used my index fingers to draw a water line around the hair line of my forehead. I felt the small water drops glide down my forehead as I closed my eyes. It felt nice and relaxing. I knew this performance would be my awakening of music. There is no way that not even having an anxiety attack would stop me from being who I wanted to be! It's time to pull myself together and get down to business. I stood up straight, took a deep breath, and looked into the mirror at my new self. I was taller and more confident now then ever. It's time to show everybody my talent and who I am!

I swung the bathroom door open. And walked out with a strut. Nobody was in line anymore so I walked straight up to the teacher and said "I'm ready!" She looked at me still concerned from my scary episode 15 mins ago, "Are you feeling ok Krystal? We were all very worried." I looked up at her with the look on my face like I was on a serious mission, "I'm feeling great and I'm more ready than ever."

She got hold of my wrist and pulled me into the cafeteria in a hurry to the side stage. There was my line again. Only 2 girls were standing there. The teacher squeezed me in the middle. The girl in front of me, Kelly, walked up to the front of the stage. It was her turn. She had a desk and chair with a small keyboard in front of her. She started to play another familiar song I recognized, but it wasn't a radio song like the other performers. Her choice of song was "Hot Cross Buns." As I stood there on the side of the stage on the stairs, I could see the crowd. I tried to look for my parents but they weren't visible from where I was standing.

I started to feel my nerves try to jump up again. But before I had time to get nervous, Kelly had finished. The teacher got on the mic and announced me "Now we have Krystal Blue singing "A Whole New World by Aladdin." The teacher looked at me and so did the whole audience waiting for me to move up to the stage. The mic was on the side of the stage. But for some reason I guess this is when the artist in control comes out of us, I told the teacher to move the mic to the middle of the stage. She looked at me and giggled as she moved the mic to the middle.

I walked up to the mic as I see a sea of people looking at me. They looked dark. I couldn't see them with the bright lights shinning at me. I saw a dark shadow twords the back of the cafeteria that looked like a camera stand. That had to be my dad. I looked around at the people in front of me and saw all my friends up front. Even the boy I had a crush on, Matt. He was a tall curly blonde haired boy whom was a good friend of mine. Gosh he sure did look cute tonight. It's kinda making me nervous! Oh, I almost forgot. I turned around to signal the teacher to press play on the tape player.

The music started to play. My nerves were jumping up more and more. My hands started to shake. No! Not again! Please no! My part was coming up to sing, I can't do this! My eyes started to water. I couldn't run off stage out of fear and go home crying! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?! My part was here. I opened my mouth to sing. As soon as the words were flowing out of my mouth, my hands started to move to the music. Chills ran down my spine and the faces of the people started to smile. My hands stopped shaking and my stomach pains went away. What happened to me? It's as if somebody came up to me and pulled my fear right out of me and guided me through the music. I felt as if I had wings now and I was free to feel how I want to feel without fear. It felt like heaven.

I closed my eyes to sing. When I opened them, the first thing I saw was my crush Matt. I saw him smiling and it instigated me to start to sing the song to him. I pointed my finger to him as I sang parts of the song that had the lyrics "...with you!." I saw him blush and his friends laughed at him and picked on him.

I looked around at the judgment of the other people. Everybody had a zombie like face. I felt like I had them at the palm of my hands. It was power. Power of music. As the song ended, I closed the song with a long note of "You." Once finished, I gave a small curtsy to the silent audience. I looked up at them waiting for their response. Roaring waves of clapping filled the cafeteria! I heard whistles and cheers! It was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt!

After my anxiety attack in the hallway and my strength to pull myself together to come out on stage and bare my vocal soul, I felt a sudden boost of strength and passion! I was a stronger more powerful person!

Chapter 7: THE DAY OF THE TALENT SHOW! Age: 9

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 10:38:34 GMT

My eyes opened. I yawned and stretched waking up from my sleep of dreams. I stared up at the ceiling thinking about my life and future. Every second since practicing my singing, I've been thinking about my future like crazy. What I'm going to do? What's my destiny? Will I be a great singer with a strong passion of my life with hopes and dreams? Or will I just be a dreamer with little hope but passion for my music career? Maybe I'm thinking too much ahead of myself. I mean, I haven't even done the Talent Show yet. OH NO! THE TALENT SHOW IS TONIGHT!

3:26 PM.I sat myself on the red fold out chair in the master bathroom with my robe on and my pink fluffy house-shoes snug on my feet. I looked at myself in the big mirror in front of me. Looking at myself, everything looked clear. I saw myself as if I knew exactly who I was and what was going to happen. Like, this was going to be the first day of the rest of my life.

My Mom walked in, "Ok Krystal, did you heat up the rollers for me?" I looked over at the rollers that were in a plastic clear case and saw the plug laying on the counter. I reached over to plug them in. My heart was pumping faster and harder each minute that passed by and each time the clock turned closer to 7:30pm.

"Here. Put this cream on your face." My Mom handed me a small bottle that read, Loreal. I started putting the cream on my fingers and rubbed it all over my face. I saw my skin start to turn smoother looking. An artistic mind would see it as how things such as makeup can add a different look to your face, like art. A simple mind would see this as caking makeup to hide yourself.

My Mom started working on my hair. Getting a section of my hair and rolling it into a spongy roller. My mind stopped thinking about being on stage and turned to creating a new look for myself on my face. My creativity was at work.

6:32 PM.*Singing* 'A whole new world...' I pressed on my stomach as I continued practicing with the stereo in the kitchen, 'On a magic carpet ride...' My dad walked quickly into the room with his brief case. He set it down on top of the kitchen counter top and walked quietly but quickly out of the room. My mother was walking around the house grabbing the camera from charging next to the wall in the living room and stuffed it into a bag.

6:45 PM.It was time to go. We all left the house. Hoped into the maroon colored van and went on our way to the talent show.

7:05 PM.We walked into my school and I saw my friend's straight ahead standing against the wall to the entrance of the cafeteria. "Is this where we have to wait in line to perform?" I asked one of the kids. "Yea you have to ask that lady there where you're supposed to be." I walked up to the lady and she directed me to the back of the line. I looked ahead to see about 30 girls standing in line stretching their arms and legs as they were dressed in their leotards. I was thinking to myself on how I could warm up while I'm waiting in line. I certainly didn't need to stretch my arms or legs. Well, maybe I'll sing certain notes to warm up my voice even though I warmed up at home, I had to occupy myself. I took a deep and just when I was about to sing my first note, the teacher walked towards my direction with another girl directing her to stand in line behind me.

The girl had short straight brown hair and was my same height. She too wore a simple white dress like mine. I don't think she was going to dance or anything. What was her talent? I turned to her and curiously asked her, "What are you going to do?" she had a sweet soft voice, "I'm going to sing a song from the movie Free Willy." I suddenly felt a whole new different sort of judgment towards this girl. She was my competition! But I knew that if I wanted to be in music, I was going to HAVE to have a good attitude towards people. Especially other singers. It was time I grew up and turned into a young lady and be a good sport in the game of music. "Good Luck with your performance! I'm excited to see you on stage!" I smiled at her. She smiled back, "Thanks. Good Luck to you too! And I can't wait to see you on stage too!"

At that moment, I felt a whole new change. A change of having something in common with somebody. Being different from the rest, but having one person be into what I was into. It felt nice but I can already see myself drifting away from my other friend's. The dancers. I was having a flash-forward of my life again.

7:58pm"Attention ladies and gentlemen!" I suddenly heard a lady on the microphone in the cafeteria, "Thank you all for coming out tonight to see these talented young students give it all they got in this talent show..."

My nerves got a jump kick start in fear! I was getting nervous and my hands started to shake lightly. My heart was pounding hard. The room suddenly started to slightly spin and I was starting to breath heavily.

The lady on the microphone announced the first performer. I leaned my back against the wall and opened my ears to hear what was going on. I heard the audience gradually clap welcoming the first act. Then, I heard music play. The song sounded so familiar. It was a popular radio song. I heard the song singing throughout the cafeteria "I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign."

I was kinda curious to see what the first girl was doing so I went to the back door which was right around the corner away from the line I was standing in. I quietly sneaked away to the door. Softly opened it and saw from far away on stage a girl dancing gymnastics. She did a cartwheel, then a back-hand-spring, and finished with the splits. I wasn't much for caring for gymnastics, but the girl was showing her talent and looked confident.

Just standing there looking at the back of the crowd's heads reminded me that I was going to have to perform on that stage too. My stomach started to turn so I walked back to my spot. 2nd to last in the line.

As time passed and each single and group act got on stage to perform, I was moving closer and closer to the front of the line. Chills were running up and down my spine and I started to sweat. I was hoping for one of the talent acts to have a nice soothing song. But apparently the song "I saw the Sign" was VERY very popular at the time. The song was performed by every single act. I heard the same song over and over and over 25 times.

Three girls were in front of me and my hands started to shake heavily. My heart pounded so hard I thought it was going to pop out of my throat, I swallowed hard to stop my heart from jumping out. My stomach rumbled hard in an aching pain as if I was food poisoned. I grabbed my stomach are started making a groaning sound from the harsh pain I was feeling. I pressed my back hard on the wall and my knees bent due to weakness. My eyes started to roll to the back of my head and I started to see black. The singer next to me noticed I was in trouble and told the teacher. "I think Krystal is in trouble!" Their voices started to fade away. I started feeling very faintly.

The teacher ran up to me asking if I wanted to go see my parents. I couldn't see them, if I went to see them, they would take me home and then I couldn't perform. I HAD to perform! It was what I am supposed to do! It's the life I'm supposed to have! My stomach took a death aching turn. I couldn't take it anymore! The pain was so great it felt as if I was being stabbed in the stomach. I got lightheaded and felt that whatever was inside my stomach was ready to come out! I used the last of my strength to pick myself up off the wall and run to the bathroom.

To be continued....

Chapter 6: So What's Your Talent?

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:50:33 GMT

I ran up the incline and pushed open the door into our classroom which was located outside in the portables, "I WIN!" I yelled, "Haha! I'm still the fastest, nobody can ever beat me! Oh yea!" Five of my other friend's ran in after me sweating and panting with their hands on their knees to catch their breath.

They looked at the teacher's desk and made their way over to look at a piece of paper. They started to push and shove eachother just to write on this paper. What on earth were they so excited about? It was mostly the girls wanting to sign it. I had to see for myself what was up. At the top of the paper wrote TALENT SHOW and below it in smaller print LAST DAY TO SIGN UP, BE A STAR! I had no clue what a talent show was, but I understood the phrase "Be a Star." I looked to see what the other girls were writing.

Each person wrote their name then the talent they wanted to do. 100% of them said Dancing or Gymnastics. Well, I certainly wasn't going to do gymnastics. If I danced, I'd might as well join the other girls in their group. "Ok class please find your seats, you have 30 more seconds to sign up for the Talent Show and we have to turn it in to the office!" Mr. Martinez informed us. Crap! I only had 30 seconds to think of what I'm going to do! Maybe I'll just not do it and watch all my friends. No, I should do it, I might regret it when I'm older. But what should I do?!?! Oh no! 10 more seconds. AH! I got it! I signed the paper with my name, Krystal Blue and wrote my talent I was going to do, Singing 'A Whole New World' from the Disney movie ALADDIN.

When I got home I was craving some grilled cheese sandwich BAD! Oh I can just taste it now! Melted cheese on toasted buttered bread! My mouth was WATERING! I went to the kitchen. Turned on the stove to 'Med.' Got the butter and cheese from the fridge and pulled out the bread from its plastic bag. I threw the bread on the pan. While I waited I turned on the mini kitchen TV.

My Mom walked in the kitchen from the laundry room. "Hi Krystal. I'm so tired. Your brother Gabriel, got his first ticket today! Going 55 in a 40! Right here outside of our neighborhood." I just listened to my Mom continue about her day. I bet right now she's thinking of the things that need to be worked on. "And Krystal, did you turn in your math paper like we talked about?" she asked, "Yes." I flipped over my sandwich and got a plate from the cabinet.

She continued, "Any good news today?" I put my cheese sandwich on my plate and made my way to the kitchen table as I responded to her, "Oh! Yea I signed up to this thing today at school." She grabbed a napkin to hand to me, "What did you sign up to?" I took a big bite of my sandwich, "Dhurs dhingg, dhe dhalemt phow," I said with my mouth full. "What's that?" she asked. I swallowed my food in a big gulp, "I said, This thing, the Talent Show" Every situation, every problem that was going through her mind had magically disappeared. "You signed up for the Talent Show?? So what's your talent?" she asked. "I'm going to sing 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin" She looked at me stunned and shocked but at the same time happy with the decision I had made. "You are going to sing?" she smiled and continued, "Krystal, that's wonderful!"

According to her there was NO time to waste. It was time to start my practicing! NOW! But it wasn't going to be easy.

I stood in front of the big screen TV in our living room with my mother as I had the Aladdin movie playing. "Ok, now sing the song Krystal. Let's try it first." I postured my self to stand tall. Took a deep breath and sang the first 2 verses. My mother came up to me and tried to push on my stomach. "Ah!" I yelled and pushed her hands away. "Why are you doing that?" I asked. "Because you need to sing louder. Your stomach is like a balloon and you need to push out all that air." Being young and naive, I got angry and sat on the couch. "Krystal, if you want to be in this talent show, you need a lot of practice. You don't want to come out looking bad in front of the whole school do you?" She did have a good point. I got up and tried again.

My practice for the talent show was not easy and was a lot of hard work. Being young we usually want to do what we want and have trouble taking orders or directions. And if it's your first time singing, criticism was going to be the HARDEST thing to have to accept and learn from. I went through many ups and downs. I practiced for 2 weeks. I even had my dress bought and ready to go. Everybody was getting ready for the talent show!

During my 2 weeks of practice I had to learn the words to the song, get a tape of the song without the words, and practice my stage performance. My sister, Candace, helped me with my stage performance. She's been in talent shows before.

After the 2 weeks my big day was tomorrow. I was so excited and thrilled! I couldn't wait! But something didn't feel right. I started to get queasy a bit and a bit dizzy.

Chapter 5: Catholic School Girl Gone BAD!

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:49:42 GMT

Coming back to my original Public school was kind of a real world wake up call. Out of the religious life and back to almost my dirty habits again. Oh no I wasn't a bad kid, I was a good kid. An innocent little Catholic school girl still with my B grades. Until....

I saw all my friends again, now that I'm back in my old school. 3rd grade felt great! I was almost 5th grade but not 1st or 2nd grade. We were in the middle. We still got picked on by older kids but we had little kids of our own to pick on. Haha! My teacher that year was great too! His name was Mr. Martinez. One of my favorite teachers! He cared about my grades.

In the 3rd grade, show and tell wasn't such a big deal anymore. But under some circumstances, depending on what you brought for show and tell, it could be reasonable enough to share with everybody.

One sunny day, one of my classmates was showing off an old coin that their grandfather had saved over the years. Everybody was so impressed over this coin. And I thought to myself "I have something my grandfather gave me that's wayyy cooler than that!"

Once I got home from school, I ran inside my house, up the stairs, and into my room. I got a shoe box from my top closet shelf and put it on the floor. Hair bands and jewelry flew out of the shoe box when it hit the floor. "Here it is!" I said in thrill. I was so excited about the next day in school I could hardly sleep! This would blow their minds!

It was morning! I woke up with a BIG smile on my face! I ate the egg and waffle breakfast that my dad had cooked for me, and ran out the house with my blue backpack to catch the school bus. I was sitting in the back of the bus next to my friend Jessica. I was thinking to myself that I shouldn't show her my show and tell UNTIL show and tell but I can barley resist. I waited though.

We arrived at school and walked to the gymnasium where all the 1st-4th graders had to sit and wait until 7:30 when school started. We weren't aloud to talk or look at eachother. We just sat in a straight line with our grade. The teacher that was guarding all of us was my old 2nd grade teacher. Mrs. Bean. Jessica sat behind me and a boy sat in front of me. I was biting my lip. *bites* Ohh! I can't wait. I HAD to show her!

I turned around carefully and threw a piece of crumbled paper behind me. I turned back to the front and waited for a response from her. I heard her open the crumbled paper and then she tapped me on the shoulder seconds later. "What are you showing for show and tell?" she asked. I opened up my backpack a little bit. Once she saw what it was she gasped for air, "Oh my God! Where did you get that? That is awesome!" The kid in front of me heard her and turned around to see what all the fuss was about. "Lemme see," he asked as he pulled my backpack toward him. "WHOA! IT'S A..." I quickly stopped him from saying it out loud. "Shhh!"

Mrs. Bean paced back and fourth at the front of the gym. "I wanna hold it," Jessica demanded. I was starting to get kind of nervous and my hands started to sweat. "I don't think I should pull it out of my backpack, I might get in trouble." I said unsure of the situation. She reached over and pulled it out anyway but accidentally knocking over her book she had standing up.

Mrs. Bean heard the noise and looked over. Oh she saw what Jessica was holding. Jessica saw that she was caught and immediately gave it back to me. That didn't stop Mrs. Bean from marching over with a very evil look in her eye. "Krystal! Let me see what's in your hand!" Her voice echoed loudly in the gymnasium. Her voice gave me terrible chills up and down my spine. There was nothing I could do now. I opened my hand to show her. "A GRENADE!" she screamed. Every single person in the Gym turned and looked at me all at once.

Mrs. Bean grabbed my arm and pulled me up to her level. She gave me the evil eye for a split second then started her marching way out of the gym and pulled me along with her. Once we got outside of the gym and into the hall, she cornered me to the wall, "Where did you get this grenade? Huh? And why did you bring it to school?" she demanded with force and anger in her voice. "I was just..." she continued her way down the hall and pulled my arm again before I could even finish.

Here I was, the little innocent catholic school girl sitting in the principles office with the principle and all the vice principles staring down at me because I had brought a grenade to school. "Krystal," the principle lady said firmly, "I am going to have to call your mother!" My eyes started to water. My nose started to stuff up. "Yes is this Krystal's mother?" the principle lady said on the phone. The other vice principles walked out of the office once clarified that my mother was on the phone. "Your daughter, Krystal, brought a grenade to school. Do you have the slightest idea why?" I was shaking in my chair. Thinking of all the things that would happen to me when I got home, how much trouble I was in! I bet they'll kick me out of the house and I'll have to go to New York and be homeless on the streets!

"Krystal," said the principle, "your MOTHER wants to speak with you." My hands slipped a bit getting up out of my chair. I grabbed the phone waiting for a scream on the other end and nervously answered with a shaking voice, "Hello?" I waited for her answer, "Hi sweety I hope you're feeling ok! I'm on my way to pick you up from school and I'm going to get you a Happy Meal from McDonadl's on the way home ok?" I stood there with my jaw dropped from shock! "uhm ok?" I responded and hung up. The principle looked at me still angry but I don't think she was angry at me. I think she was angry at what my Mom told her.

As the principle walked me down the hall to the front of the school she looked at me, "Your mother told me where you got that grenade." I really hated they way teachers and principles talked to us, like we were always in trouble. "Your mother said that it was an old used grenade from World War II. And that you were bringing it for show and tell. She said your grandfather gave you that grenade a year ago. In my opinion, I don't think kids should be handling things like that." I responded in confusion and defence, "But it's used, and it can't go off. There's nothing in it. It's empty." Not liking my response she said, "Yes but you could drop it on somebody's foot and brake their toe! Look your mother's here!"

Chapter 4: Little Catholic School Girl!

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:48:41 GMT

As I was sitting in on the passenger side of our family van in my little maroon uniform dress with white ruffled socks, I asked my Mom, "Why am I going to a Catholic School?" She glanced at me then back at the road, "Because they didn't give you equal rights at your school and I can't put you in another public school because we're not in those districts. So I'm putting you in a private school called Mound Sacred Heart," she said in a very tired and stressed voice. I looked out the passenger window staring off in the distance imagining what my new school would be like.

Before I knew it, we were there! I got out of the car and planted my feet on small white pebbles. The whole school was covered in small white rocks all over the floor. My little black shoes were dirty already. As we walked into the school, we passed by a group of kids that looked like my brother's age! "Mom!" I tugged on her shirt, "Why are there old kids here? I thought I was at an elementary school!" She giggled, "This is a Catholic school, the grades go up to 8th here." I felt drastically shy all of a sudden. The halls smelled dusty. Most of the kids looked Hispanic. There were nuns walking around. I was DEFINITELY not close to home!

I said my good-byes to my Mom as she left me with a nun to walk me to my class. I was getting REALLY nervous then! The nun walked me into a gym where there was a class standing on benches singing. I dragged my feet up to the benches. The teacher that was instructing them looked at me, "Hi Krystal! I'm Mrs. Camacho," she said kindly as she shook my hand, "there's a spot right there where you can stand and if you know the song, sing along!" My nerves calmed down a bit, I got up about 3 steps to my spot next to a brown haired boy named Raul and a red headed girl who looked just like Pippy Longstalking named Kristin. "Hi I'm Kristin! Wanna be my friend?" the little red headed girl said in a friendly giggly way. I smiled back at her, "I'd love to be friends! I'm Krystal!"

My stay at Mound Sacred Heart was very pleasant and a lot of fun. I learned so many things there in one year! I learned to play baseball, ballet, was in choir, did my first play, and was the lead dancer of the Flamenco Dance group! My teacher Mrs. Camacho was the sweetest teacher I ever had! She actually cared if I learned or if I was struggling. My bestfriend at the time was Kristin, and Raul (the boy that was standing next to me in choir) was my Catholic boy crush!

I was so happy there but I did miss my friend's back at my other school. And I wanted to be in a normal school. I wasn't ready to be so religious yet.

Chapter 3: When There was no 3rd but 2nd Again!

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:47:12 GMT

I was in 2nd grade...AGAIN! 2nd Grade. For the 2nd Time! I had to do it all over TWICE! And it was for no reason but a teacher trend at the time. The teachers will get really popular huh? Well, I had a new home room teacher. Her name was Mrs. Bean. She was a short sort of chubby type of lady. Her fake orange hair wanting to be blonde was short and curled around her ears like a dwarf from The Wizard of Oz. And her long smile curled up like the Joker from Batman. I can't really say much about her personality, with all the character that showed about her on the outside, I couldn't exactly see much character on her inside.

I didn't even get a chance to get comfortable in her classroom. I had my last assignment there. It was around September. I remember I was wearing a skirt because it was warm but still wore a jacket from the windy weather outside.

All the kids in my class were passing around a big blue poster. Each of them were all writing their names on it. Passing it down to the next person and to the next. When I saw it was the kid's turn next to me, I read what she wrote; I'll Miss you! Have a good rest of the year! -Jenny. I looked up at Mrs. Bean and asked her "Can I sign it too?" She looked at me confused and hesitated a bit, "Sure! I guess you can sign it too! It's your poster!" I looked at her in confusion back. Then, looked at the poster with my name in the middle written in BIG letters; Goodbye Krystal Blue, we'll Miss you!

Before I could even gather together everything that just happened, my Mom walked into the classroom. "Come on Krystal, get your stuff! It's time to go," my Mom said. Still in shock, I got my Lisa Frank backpack with a white and rainbow unicorn imprinted on the back of it, my Pincess of Power pink lunch box, and walked out with my Mom. Before I turned the corner, I looked back and waved at all of my friends. "Bye everybody. I'll be back, I think..."

Chapter 2: When My Life started to Change

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:43:09 GMT

I was in 2nd grade. I even remember my home room teacher's name. Miss Lamb. Sure things were still as normal as they all seemed they were still supposed to be. But I noticed certain changes in the way I was treated by my teachers mostly.

One Spring day in Miss Lamb's classroom I raised my hand in need of assistance. I waited patiently. But was not acknowleged. She was looking down at her desk grading papers. Another student raised her hand. Miss Lamb looked up and right away helped her. I was still raising my hand. Maybe she'll see since she stood up to help the other kid. But was not acknowleged. She went back to her desk and continued to grade papers.

20 mins had passed and I was still stuck in the same problem on my paper. I tried to ask the kid next to me for help but Miss Lamb immedietly told me not to talk. I didn't care what she had just said. I raised my hand again with more enthusiasm this time to try my hardest to get her attention hoping my hand was visible enough to her face. No, I wasn't acknowleged.

The bell had rung and class was over. I was upset but at the same time confused as to why she singled me out in not helping me. I went up to her and asked her. "Miss Lamb, you said if any of us needed help, we would raise our hands and you would help us. I raised my hand for 45 mins and was not helped. Why?" She looked at me with her lazy tired eyes, "I was grading papers, I didn't see you raise your hand. Maybe you should raise it higher if you want me to help you." I didn't talk back. Although I should have. But growing up, you're taught not to talk back to teachers. So I kept my mouth shut and held it in.

2nd grade had ended and the new school year was beginning. But For some odd reason when I went back to school after the summer, I was in 2nd grade again. I didn't understand. I had asked my mother why they held me back. She said in the kindess way possible, "They said you didn't seem mature enough and that it will help you mature! Besides, they said because of your young looks, you can fit right in with everybody else!"

Chapter 1: In the Beginning....

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:37:33 GMT

I was born on July 23rd, 1984 in San Antonio, Texas. I have a beautiful mother, loving father, 2 older brothers (Paul and Gabriel), and 1 older sister (Candace). I got pulled into loving music at the age of 4 when I used to watch my mother sing Pat Benatar everyday from the record player. After watching her so much I started to learn the words to "Hit me with your Best Shot" and "You Better Run." I would always get up and sing with my mother and dance to the music!

One day my father bought a video camera! And of course the first thing we all want to record is the whole family singing and dancing! My mother sang to the camera, then my sister, and even my brother! The camera turned to me and it was my turn. I was scared at first and almost shy walking up to the middle of the room. But once the music started, all my fears went away and I totally got relaxed and was so comfortable right away!

Throughout the year each special occassion we always pulled out the video camera to record the birthdays, partys, new year, chritsmas. And for some odd reason, they always ended with somebody singing into the camera. It's almost like everybody wanted to be in the spotlight!

I was living life as a VERY normal kid from the ages of 4-8. Going to a normal public school, normal friends, normal grades of A's and B's, normal teachers. Everything was just.....normal!

At the beginning of every new grade in school, our teacher would always tell us to draw, write, paint what it was we wanted to be when we grow up. No matter how normal my life seemed at the time, I always saw HUGE BIG things for my future! I would draw a microphone on the white peice of paper. Speakers in the back. Me on stage with cartoons hands in front cheering for me. And me wearing some totally crazy rock idol outfit. It was all just a dream in my head at the time and not even anything close to a reality.

Haven't updated in a long time

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 13:08:13 GMT

I haven't updated in a long time here. So I think it's time to make my LiveJournal come back to LIFE again. From my original myspace page, www.myspace.com/krystalblue I've been writing chapters of my Life Story because I think it's time for the world to see the truth. I'm going to start moving those chapters over here to live journal so everybody else here can see my stories of why I am who I am today. Let me know if you guys are still alive out there haha!

My New Journal Icon!

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:07:52 GMT

I made a new Journal Icon! YAY! Once I figure out how to use this website, I'll figure out how to actually have friends on here hahahah. But to the few on here now, I have one!